


A Dozen Roses

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-02-06
Updated: 2005-02-06
Packaged: 2018-11-20 20:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11342733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Mulder wants roses for his lover. A competitor appears. A cliche drabblet.





	A Dozen Roses

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

A Dozen Roses

### A Dozen Roses

#### by Griva

  


**A DOZEN ROSES**  
R, M/K  
Notes: Written for the Cliche Challenge at MKLove group. Two guys giving each other roses. Improbably. Corny. But could be sweet, too. Beware of the cliches - they are deliberate! Inspired by an annoying flower delivery pop-up. 

* * *

Mulder cursed himself in the most explicit way as he stepped inside the overflowing flower shop. What had possessed him to leave Alex's roses for last? And on Valentine's Day! 

Everything else was ready, and preparations had run like clockwork: the chocolates, the card, dinner reservations, hotel suite. He had left the roses for last because he wanted them fresh and nice-looking for his lover. His Alex deserved nothing but the best. His lovely, beautiful as Greek sex god Alex. 

Except that Mulder didn't count on a last-minute case report that had forced him to stay late at the basement. Now the flower shop was filled with a crowd as wild as deranged ladies in a lingerie sale. When he could finally approach a saleslady, she gave him the most heart-breaking answer he could ever hear. 

"I am sorry, sir. This gentleman has just requested the last dozen of our red roses." 

Mulder blanched. 

He immediately turned to the competitor: a tall, stunningly handsome guy in his late 20s, wearing a black battered leather jacket, a white tee and a pair of worn denims, very tight at the crotch. Mulder's eye hurt - wherever he laid his eyes upon the beautiful stranger, he wanted to lay his hands. 

"Look, pal, I gotta have those roses." Mulder uttered, appealingly. 

The other man looked at Mulder the way telling he had guessed what was about to happen before Mulder voiced his request. 

"Sorry, man. No can do." The HunkaBurningLuv apparition answered in the husky voice that gave Mulder goose bumps and made him ask again, just to hear that voice, smooth like crushed black velvet. 

"Please, man, I'll give double what you paid." 

"Nope." The ermine-haired man frowned, a delectable wrinkle appearing above his upturned nose. 

"I'll triple it!" Mulder was ready to get down on his knees in front of him. Right now. And beg, beg again. 

"I'm sorry. You snooze, you lose." The young man snorted, turned his broad back to Mulder and put the cash on the counter. 

Mulder squared his shoulders and went into his suit pocket for his ID - his last trump. "I'm a Federal Agent, you know that?" 

The guy didn't flinch. Instead he jerked up his head, issued an infuriating wry smirk, baring his sharp teeth: "Ah, yeah? And what are going to do? Give the roses to a perp?" 

Mulder's blood started to boil as his temper flared: "I need them!" 

"They are mine!" The emerald eyes, fringed by the thickest, blackest lashes Mulder has ever seen on a human being, darkened dangerously. 

"The love of my life is waiting for them!" 

"So is mine, pal! Deal with it!" 

Enough was enough. Mulder growled so loud that frightened saleslady dropped her bouquet as he lunged for Mr. WetDream, who grabbed him really hard. They both tumbled and wrestled away in the floor of the busy flower shop, to the amazement of the whole crowd. 

* * *

Ten minutes later, on that same floor, in the abandoned flower-shop, the two men were lying side by side. The roses, crushed and torn to shreds, littered the floor around them. The police siren was howling nearby. Neither seemed to care about it. 

Mulder run his palm lovingly over Alex's flushed up, grinning face and down over his rumpled clothes, over his lush body. 

"You _had_ to make me lose my temper?* 

As Alex succumbed to his touch, Mulder pouted and named his complaints: 

"My female partner snores like a lumberjack, man. I swear they can hear her all the way in DC when we are on a case in Philadelphia." 

"My lover drags me all over town in wild goose chases and breaking in abandoned warehouses that end up ruining my suits every time." 

"My lover has a raven as a pet. Can you imagine it? A raven, geez!" 

"My lover thinks broccoli is good for me. I hate broccoli!" 

"My lover says he gets off on hearing me squeal as I come." 

Alex who was listening patiently and with interest through the litany, laughed out loud at this and sat up, tugging Mulder to follow him. 

"Where are you going?" Mulder whined immediately. "I will handle the police." 

Alex got up and straightened his clothes, doing the same for Mulder, whose grey signature Armani suit was splattered with water from a broken vase. 

"I don't mind so much the jumping off windows, off rooftops. But sometimes I can get hurt. And I hate to pick out these fuckers out of my ass..." Alex demonstrated to Mulder a rose stem with thick, sharp thorns. 

"You can always dial M for help," Mulder offered, his hazel eyes cloudy with lust. 

"I will. I love you." Alex confirmed his vow with a kiss. 

"Can't imagine my life without you." Mulder murmured, wrapping his arms around his lover. "I'd die without you." 

Sigh. 

"Let's settle for half a dozen each next time. Mail-ordered. What do you say?" Alex then offered. 

"Deal." 

They barely managed to break the embrace as a bulky policeman threw the flower shop door open. 

Mulder has handled and dismissed him smugly and reservedly as the true figure of authority. The matter was categorised and registered as a misunderstanding. The saleslady was charmed and all blushing and flustered as doe-eyed Alex presented his apologies and a banknote to compensate for the ruined flowers. 

Finally, both men were outside, the crisp wintry air aggravating their dissolute fever for each other. 

Mulder's lips were smooth and soft as rose petals when he kissed the blossom of his lover's mouth. Alex purred like an overfed cat under his touch. They both shivered with desire. 

"Now, the note said ... Mariott suit?" 

*end   
  

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